I'll Do As My Soul Says

Our first rainy day in Uganda. Finally, an opportunity to whip out the neon orange poncho. As soon as we got on site, I started hoeing away! It was easier to work for long periods of time because the rain kept the air cool. At lunch time, I hit a wall. Complete exhaustion. Cindy said it best- "My mind says 'go back to work,' but my legs won't move." David, one of our drivers, took eight of us back to the hotel early.

I have feelings of guilt about leaving early. The locals work outside all day long, rain or shine, in bare feet and with very little water. It gives me even more perspective about my absolutely pampered life. How pathetic that my 25 year old body can't even last until 1pm. But, I also recognize that I must let the guilt go. It does not serve me, or anyone else. I am listening to my body, which is actually the best thing I can do for myself at this point. We only have four more days here, and I cannot return to the U.S. burnt out. The goal of this trip is to make service sustainable, and if that means I need to quit early one day, so be it.

As we rode back to Kampala, I did my usual waves to anyone I made eye contact with through the bus window. 99% of the time I get a huge smile and wave in return. It's one of my favorite things about this country and there's really no reason why I can't take that back with me to the U.S. We could all use a little more acknowledgement and kindness.

Sometimes, when I take the time to sit quietly and think about the direction my life has taken, I can quickly become overwhelmed by the plans the Universe has for me. The women here are continually reminding me of how young I am, telling me that I'm very mature for my age. I haven't heard much of that since I was about 20, and I think the absence of those words whirled me into a panic. I was starting to feel that I was finally a grown up and now expected to deal with the world as an adult would, although I didn't really understand what that meant. Adults just seemed to me to be under constant stress and pressure, packing their lives full of things to do. So that's what I did, to some extent. Once I discovered yoga and service, I felt my efforts were more focused and purposeful, but still, life is moving quite fast. It's really nice to be reminded that I've still got a lot of time to figure some of this stuff out, and accept the fact that there are some things I'll never know.

The Universe never gives us more than we can handle. I see big projects on the horizon, and I must trust in the direction that my soul takes me. It is that trust that lead me to this challenge, and that will lead me to the next. "If my soul says so, I'll do as my soul says."

I love you all,
Megan